
I then began to hate the world and fell into deep despair. Then using what little brain power a coffee zombie has, I devised a plan.
I put a food strainer on top of a mug, and set a coffee filter in the strainer. I pinched the edges of the filter together on the sides and secured them with tape so the filter would not fall flat once wet. I then proceeded to add the coffee grounds and poured boiling water through.

It worked and surprisingly it didn't even spill a drop. So not only did I get to learn a valuable lesson that coffee zombies are not good with breakable objects, I finally got to enjoy my coffee after all.
VICTORYYY!!!